AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by crunchywasp »

Grasp vibrating Golden Axe tightly between manly thighs until vinegar strokes.

Distract Savile with fleshlight w/ mouth insert.

Disembowel Savile with Golden Axe.

Steal jewellery.

Arrest Jim Davidson.

Thank alibi.

Continue hunt for meat feast.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

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Gathering Savile's jewel spills, you reflect upon your journey. **** Hell you've only walked down the street. Rough town. However the assortment of diamond and gold pendants are rather fetching. You note that these adornments have been upgraded, they are spattered with a mithril film. Faerie essence! Savile must have been a high level hex predator! You imagine what nymph caverns the fallen old wizard has conquered to expel such purity.

Feeling elated, you look on with a passionate steely gaze and enjoy a relaxing breeze.

As the embracing cool winds uplift you, you are reminded that you are dangerously low on armour. You are rich in adornment but need to find suitable attire to conceal your flesh. You spy what seems to be the skinned hide of a leopard in a heap near a bush. Is this a gift from an angel?
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by Rossyra »

As you approach the leather hide, you suddenly realise it is being worn by a heavily-breasted woman who is lying in a heap unconscious.

Suddenly the serenity of the cooling wind is shattered by a strong yet sweet aroma of flesh.

A rush of blood shoots through your body as the woman appears to be waking up. She is trying to say something.

It sounds like 'flirty disco' she is motioning as if drinking from a chalice, perhaps she is thirsty or hungry or both at once.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

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You clearly make out the word 'Bristow'. What womanish tongue is this? In a panic you bludgeon her with the nearest available blunt object and she falls back into slumber. You inspect the sleeping woman and engraved on her leopard tunic are the words 'beauty angel'. Her hardened muscles, battle scars and facial hair betoken the form of a Warrior Woman. Embossed on her firm pectoralis is the shape two sharpened round spearheads. What fortune. She may prove useful allegiance for your travels.

You wisely decide you must present yourself with dignity should she consider joining your team. Finding the defeated dwarf's green tunic you squeeze into it. It proves a snug but brightly coloured garment and includes a hidden weapon belt. It serves to partly conceal your body and weaponry but your axe handle hangs in view.

You hope you didn't hit the warrior woman too hard and ponder your next deed.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

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'Beauty Angel' swiftly recovers from the blow, although her intelligence stat has suffered a 10 point penalty, her new intelligence rank is: pork.

As a result she is more amenable to joining your merry band, please select a name.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

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You consider her erect spear heads and the strange word she uttered...

Code: Select all

> Eric Bistrow_
Eric Bistrow has joined your party.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by pubjoe »

You remember Eric Bristow's desperate motions for food and drink. You search your personage but have been heavily drained of supplies. You offer her your depleted reserve, explaining that you have already quenched the thirst of many a traveller, but there may be some drops of liquid in your Hero's Pouch and perhaps some splattered morsels from fisticuffs past on your large Hero's Ring. She proceeds to wring your pouch for a precious few drops whilst lapping your ring for stale meat remnants. She's grateful for your efforts and you feel some strained satisfaction yet also a little shame. You promise yourself that you will cater fully to Eric Bristow as soon as your supplies have replenished.

Onward forthwith brave heroes. Where goes ye?
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by Rossyra »

Bristow beckons you East, unable to resist her ample charms you follow, the atmosphere between you sexually charged all the way.

The road is long and slowly the cool wind becomes an intense heat as you approach a barren desert wasteland.

On the horizon you spot the shimmering image of what appears to me an enormous flying turtle with a village on its back. The coming and going of the native villagers suggests access to the village is granted through the turtle's vagina.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by Rossyra »

We've totally lost our way with this if you look at the OP. It has basically become strands of narrative
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by crunchywasp »

:lol: :awe:

Gosh darn it, I done gone missed all the hilarity today :(

...

Heroically resist Bristow's overbrimming sexual charm... for now.

Eagerly enter enormous turtle's vagina instead.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

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I've been inside the turtle's vaj for over a year now. Bristow expired shortly after arrival and has long since been devoured, her bones fashioned in to weapons and pointlessly intricate tools. It's homely and warm, the stench strangely comforting, but I'm weary and famished.

Strap tools and weapons to naked torso

Press on to village
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

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:awe:

As your journey begins you consider the lack of vaginal traffic. Since your arrival the once bustling passage has seemed baron and abandoned. The homely warmth tempts you back but something is amiss. You must press on lest you perish here like poor Eric.

Your penetration is thwart with resistance. Mudslides, debris and sometimes large boulders impede progress. Quite an uninviting gangway. The village is nowhere in sight. You reflect back on your entrance last year and are quite sure you made no wrong turn at the juncture. Should you go back, or delve deeper into the Crusty Caverns?
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by Rossyra »

Poor Eric :(

Take mud.
exit vagina.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by pubjoe »

Code: Select all

Unkown location.  You cannot exit
Exit current location.

As you retreat from the passage you remember hearing tell of treacherous swamplands in the land of Rectoria which borders the town of Vaginia. It's said that travellers of past have stumbled in the hazardous cracky terrain, and once gone there, they don't go back.

However you are slightly curious.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by crunchywasp »

Don bi-curious bat outfit :batlove:

Turn on fleshlight w/ anus insert

Proceed onward through Perineum Pass towards Rectoria
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by Pyongyang »

On the road to Rectoria you are stopped by a highwayman named Alan (who it appears once lived in an Orbit affordable housing estate near Hemel-Hempstead).

Alan asks you for five pounds and a copy of Knave.

What do you want to do now?

*simulated flashing cursor*
Visit my shop! (Not a business, just an outlet for my private collection, for sale, direct): Player 2 Games
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by pubjoe »

Invite Alan to join your crew with promise of a share of your legendary Knave hoard.
Alan has joined your party
Continue to Gravy Geysers.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

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You continue onward to Gravy Geysers. The journey is uneventful. Forced conversation is punctuated with awkward silence. You soon come to realise that Alan is quite possibly the most dull and socially retarded man you have ever met.

The fetid stench of decaying vegetation and partially digested flesh worsens as you approach Gravy Geysers. Your nostrils burn and your eyes sting as you hold back the urge to vomit. The tales you've heard of this place could not have prepared you for that which you see before you now. Gravy Geysers: a vast lake of volatile excrement over which a thick crust has formed. Jets of superheated faecal matter periodically spew forth bringing with them a dense puff of methane gas and a truly unholy stench.

To the distant north you see a gatehouse. A torch is burning blue over the entrance. The flame occasionally intensifies as gas is ejected from the underground lake.

To the east is a cave, the entrance of which is concealed by a straw coloured waterfall.

To the west is Brownstone's Inn. It looks to be occupied but there is very little activity.

Alan mutters something about wanting to bathe in one of the many ****-wells.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by Rossyra »

Place boot upon Alan's **** and push firmly. Go West.
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Re: AO adventure game. You find yourself in a room....

Post by Pyongyang »

The Brownstone Inn. Built in 1864 by Hubert Montague, a fishmonger, pig fancier and avid stamp collector from Aldershot.

The tall, imposing, mansion-esque structure has decayed somewhat over the years due to the methane-sodden localised environment, but is still a majestic property.

Pushing open the big, wooden front door, the flicker of candlelight, the sound of people chattering and laughing, clinking glasses and the waft of a million Camel wideboy cigarettes all make their exit out in to the cool night air. Someone is playing 'Tea For Two' on the piano.

Inside you find Jonathan King, dressed in flip flops, a spandex vest and a baseball cap, furiously masturbating next to a fruit machine.

What do you want to do now?
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